Funny Kenyan School names that you don’t really want to put on your CV

Kenya has some of the funniest names for schools and institutions that you will ever find anywhere. Admittedly, there are Schools you studied in whose names you are embarrassed to write down on your CV or even mention during an interview, leave alone mentioning them to your friends. A few days ago, when interior CS Fred Matiangi visited my former high school and it appeared in the media, my friends and colleagues didn’t resist that funny text to remind me how funny the name ‘Kajiunduthi” is. Admittedly, I don’t even know what the name stands for, but it still remains one institution that I’m so proud of.

It reminds me of the time when Nyakimincha primary school used to lead from the back whenever national exam results were read, only later to reqlize that the name “Nyakimincha” meant ‘tail’. That’s what we can simply summarize as ‘living up to your name’. You also remember “Kiangoma” Secondary school in Mukurweini? Kiangoma in Kikuyu means ‘demons’ and funny enough, the school after 43 years of using this name had to change it because too many of its students were going crazy.

Funny enough, In Kitengela there is a school called “Morning Glory”, Okay the name must have meant something else from the perspective of the owner, but he/she should have known how twisted our minds are and how easy it will be to get our minds thinking wild on hearing the name of the school. This school could have meant something more to a boy resident of Central Kenya if it was close to “Ukia” secondary which is located in Makueni county.

In Kisumu, there is Pand Pieri Primary and Secondary School. ‘Pand Pier’ in Dholuo means ‘hide your buttocks’. According to the Standard, the name originally for the schools was Pand Pier but the locals added the ‘i’ to give it a more juicy meaning.

Just to remind you that there is “Eshisiru mixed day secondary school” in Kakamega. Eshisiru in Luhya means stupid. It makes me wonder what kind of citizens we would expect to nurture in this school if really there is power in a name.

In Nyeri, there is Kiangond’u Primary and secondary schools. Apparently, Ng’ondu means sheep;. And somewhere in Tharaka-nithi, there is “Kiurani” primary school. “Kiura” is Meru name for frog.

The bad part is that the schools with the worst names are mostly public schools, with private schools having some attractive names meant to entice the public. It makes you wonder, who really names these schools?

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Njeru Kevin

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