Dating Lifestyle Online Relationships Social Media Technology Uncategorized

Dear boy child, before you go on that Tinder date…

Advances in social media have revolutionized our social interactions, as well as expanded our ability to meet aquitances from diverse societies something that could not have been possible before. And in a world where not everybody can be able to afford to travel maybe because of limited finances or job engagements, social media has come in as the perfect solution to such impediments. With the growth of internet and mobile application usage, several online dating platforms have come up. Most of them are available for free, at least for the basic functionality, with more advanced features available at a premium.

There are several stories around us of people who met online and went on to establish lasting bonds, friendship or even family. But talk to any guy who has dated online and they will tell you some sad story, not of being sodomized or theft, but of a scam that online dating can be, fueled by the powerful cameras and filters that will make any village woman appear like a Beyonce. Make up too has not made it easy for us.

I know there is a tired saying that looks don’t matter, only the heart counts. But just tell that to the birds. Men are attracted by looks one, the question of the heart comes later.

It takes a heart and a very strong heart indeed to go on a blind date for a man. The pictures she posts on her profile would make king Solomon add an extra concubine without question, but behind that face are three layers of abstraction (makeup, powerful lens, and filters) that makes what you see in real life and on the pic a painful view in real life.

Not trying to say that not being extremely beautiful is bad, because honestly, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but when looks are exaggerated online, the man will feel deceived when they first see you. And the horror of seeing a nyasuguta in real life when he was expecting little Kim Kardashian to show up will only fade weeks after you meet. By that time, all communication between you two will have died, making the chance of catching up and working something meaningful out an impossibility.

I have honestly been on a blind date (severally) and I must admit my pictures have sometimes not been close to the real me in real life, but the things have seen from the opposite gender have really crushed my believe that you it’s easy to date online. I once met a social media date who had no teeth, not even one. Funny enough I had not noted, it was after a friend of mine noted it and ran to laugh in the toilet that I realized. I had never seen her laugh, and whenever she talked, she never really parted her lips in a way you cold see inside her mouth. Worse still, she had a horrible attitude, not even an inch of good looks and she still insisted she stays with me so that I can learn more about her and love her for who she was. Up to today, my friend never forgets to mention the horrific story anytime we talk about girls.

After my predicament, he shared with me hise devised his own approach to social media dating

1. He told me, never be the one to travel, let her do it

2. Never blindly meet her at the agreed location, hide at some distance and call her, ask her what she is wearing and for you to identify her from some distance, if she is horrifying, run brother run

3. When she sends you her pics, look for the one that ain’t looking worse, know she looks worse than that

4. Never send fare, even if she looks like an offspring of the sun and the moon, after all, if a woman can’t afford small things like fare, what is she bringing in your life, stress?

5. Watch out for statements that starts with “do me a favor…”, you are dealing with a professional social media con

6. If she tells you buy me lunch, fries or I have not eaten for days, run brother. Or even better, ask her what she would have done had she not stumbled on you online

7. Unless you are ready to pay for sex, the moment she mentions “hookup” just resist.

8. Of she insists on coming with her friend for drinks , please carry your friend too if you don’t wanna cry after spending much and ending up lonely and wasted. And if she comes with a friend and they hook up with your friend, know that her friend offers her similar favors when she is going out on dated too.

9. If she has a child and she keeps telling you how bad her baby daddy is, never listen, that’s the same mouth that got her in to her situation. And if they are still chatting with her baby daddy, know that no matter what, if you de ide to date her, you will live sharing her with her baby daddy.

Finally, not all women on social media to date, others are social deviants out there for a good time, others are online prostitutes who will use the term “token” to cover up their business model; and still, others are simply good girls looking for a good man out there. Before you go on an online date, first of all know what she wants, and if you can’t offer that, then beat it, it’s not worth it…